Today the residents listened to some holy humor. I thought I would share with you a few of the jokes that got the biggest laughs out of the residents!
Church Bulletin Bloopers
-The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
-For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
-Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. Prayer and medication to follow.
Out of the Mouths of Babes
-A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake; I can wait.’” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Okay, Ryan, you be Jesus!”
-After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”
“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “But why?”
“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
-A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question. “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said a kindergarten boy.
“Really? How do you know?” the teacher asked.
The boy replied, “You know, ‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven.’”
-Dear God: So far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped or lost my temper. I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, or self-centered. I’m really happy about that so far. But in a few minutes I’m going to be getting out of bed, and then I’m going to need a lot of help. Thank you! Amen
-Dear God: This is my prayer. Could you please give my brother some brains? So far he doesn’t have any. Angela, age 8
-A mother was teaching her three-year-old the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to go solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail.”
I hope these made you laugh or at least brought a smile to your face on this beautiful Saturday afternoon! Have a wonderful weekend!