Happy Mother’s Day! I hope you all had a wonderful day yesterday! On Saturday we had our annual Mother’s Day lunch. Some of the residents had their families and/or friends come to join them for the lunch. It was a great turn out; the auditorium was full of chatter, laughs, and love.
Here’s some motherly humor for you!
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, “Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”
How do you know you’re a mom? You know you’re a mom when…
-You can’t find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
-You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
-You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.
-You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
-You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you strike up a conversation with the telemarketer, and HE hangs up on YOU!
-You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you’ve reached over and started to cut up his steak!
What some famous mothers might have said:
-Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary’s mother: “I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”
-Mary’s mother: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”
-Albert Einstein’s mother: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?”
-Michelangelo’s mother: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
-Paul Revere’s mother: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
12 principles of motherhood:
1. If motherhood were going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called labor!
2. Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your
car. And you get about the same results.
3. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still
on your side.
4. Avenge yourself—live long enough to be a problem to your children.
5. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant
atmosphere—and to let the air out of the tires.
6. Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too
young to borrow the family car.
7. You will save yourself a lot of grief if you think of a curfew as just a general
time to shoot for.
8. There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone
to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
9. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the
driveway during a snowstorm.
10.The hardest people to convince they’re at the retirement age are children
11.There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable
diseases and his mother’s age.
12.The only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to
raise children are those who never had any.